


Thus With A Slushie, I Die

by wowhotcute



Category: Others Mentioned - Fandom, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Romeo and Juliet Fusion, Alternate Universe - Shopping Mall, Benvolio is Minghao, Capulet is Claire’s, Capulet is Soonyoung, Count Paris is Jihoon, Friar Laurence is Mingyu, Hot Topic vs Claire’s, Jeonghan is Romeo, M/M, Mercutio is Jun, Montague is Hot Topic, Montague is Seokmin, Prince Escalus is Vernon, Seungcheol is Juliet, The Apothecary is Dino, The Nurse is Wonwoo, Tybalt is Seungkwan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-06-30 04:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15744732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wowhotcute/pseuds/wowhotcute
Summary: Welcome to Verona Hills Mall and Food Court, where the kids are stupid and the summer isn’t just for a crappy pay check.





	1. Act 1, Prologue

Two stores, both alike in stupidly,  
In the Verona Hills Mall, where we lay out scene,  
From early 2000’s grudge breaks new mutiny,  
Where cherry slush makes carpet floors unclean.  
From the hiring of these two foes  
A pair of horny teens lose their jobs;  
Whose stupid pity overthrows  
Do with their firing bury their manager’s strife.  
The fearful passage of firing mark’d love,  
And the continuence of their manger’s rage,  
Which, but their colleagues end, nought could remove,  
Is now the several chapters traffic of our website;  
The which of you with patient thumbs attend  
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.


	2. Act 1, Scene 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so starts the stupidest AU I will ever write. Actually that’s a blatant lie, I’ve got more stupidity up my sleeve.

It was the early morning before the mall opened and the employees were stocking their respective stores. Minki and Baekho, two Claire’s employees were setting up the glitter gloss display when they spotted two Hot Topic employees “Hey look, it’s those bitches that work at Hot Topic.” Minki said, nudging Baekho in the shoulder. Baekho looked towards the Hot Topic employees, scowling slightly. “Yeah, they’re there, what about it?” Minki crosses his arms. “They really piss me off. Think they’re so cool. I could beat them up in a second.”

Baekho rolled his eyes. “Yeah but you’re not.” Minki kept at it. “They’d probably start acting like whores if I pulled out my dick.” Baekho looked at his friend worrdily. “Please don’t do that.” The two Hot Topic employees drew closer.

“Hey bitch!” Minki yelled, flipping them off. Aaron, one of the Hot Topic employees yelled back “Did you just flip us off?” Minki shrugged “I stuck my middle finger up.” Aaron retaliated. “Yeah, but did you flip US off?” Minki smirked. “Would you be mad if I said yes?” 

“Uh, duh.” Aaron said. “Then no,” Minki stated “I didn’t flip you off.” Aaron and his friend Jonghyun puffed out their chests. “You tryin’ to start a fight?” Baekho asked. “Fuck no.” Aaron responded. “Cool.” Minki said “If you dont want to fight then you’re alright.” 

“Sweet”  
“Rad”  
“Nice”

“Cool” Aaron retorted. “That’s nice but one of my colleagues is coming so you better be saying cool.” Minki looked Aaron in the eyes. “That’s fine.” Aaron stared back. “You’re a bitch ass liar.” Minki turned red with rage. “Well if you’re not a liar too then why don’t you fight me!”

Suddenly Minghao stumbled in between them, interrupting his organizing of the hermit crab shells. “Y’all are really talking shit? If y’all don’t back up I’ll kick your ass. You don’t know what you’re doing.” Seungkwan called from the entrance of Justice “Listen here junkie, it’s not worth it fighting them if I’m about to kick your ass.”

Minghao squinted in the direction of Justice. “I’m just trying to break this up. Are you helping me or we gonna square up?” Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “You’re saying you’re stopping fighting by threatening to fight? You’re a little bitch you know that? You and all those other emo kids. Let’s fuckin’ go.” 

Seungkwan took off his cardigan and tossed it to the floor jumping at Minghao, the two falling to the floor in a tangled clump. The other store employees stood around them, trading cash. “My bets are on the stoner!” One yelled. “No way!” Another yelled “the cute one’s feisty.”

Suddenly Seokmin, the Hot Topic manager and Soonyoung, the Claire’s manager looked into the fight. “Seungkwan is so gonna win this.” Soonyoung smugly announced. “In your dreams.” Seokmin bit back. The two argued loudly over the fighting until Vernon showed up.

He looked over the mess and sighed loudly. “Really you guys? This is the third time! And my dad is tired of this shit. Soonyoung, Seokmin is it that hard to keep your friends in check? You’ve let this stupid rivalry go to far. Either clean up the act or you two are fired.” Soonyoung and Seokmin starred at Vernon and grabbed their friends from the sad pile on the floor.

“Soonyoung, Seungkwan, I want you two to come with me. Seokmin, Minghao, I’ll see you two this afternoon.” Soonyoung And Seungkwan walked off with Vernon leaving a tired Minghao and a frustrated Seokmin. “Why did you fight Seungkwan again?” He asked.

Minghao stuttered a bit. “Well you see there were these two little bitches from Claire’s and they were trying to start shit with your guys and I tried to break it up and that what’s-his-ass from Justice had to butt in and jump on me and then Vernon came and... yeah.” Seokmin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright. Have you seen Jeonghan today?”

“Well early this morning I was walking around the west side of the mall because I smoke in the out of order bathroom around there and I saw him but he looked like he was in a hurry so I didn’t follow him.” Minghao nodded to himself. Seokmin scrunched his face up. “Godamn it, he’s been hanging out in the old janitor’s closest writing poetry again.”

Minghao nodded again. “Huh, you know why he’s been doin’ that?” Seokmin shook his head. “I don’t fucking think I want to. If he’s jerking off in there I just hope he cleans up.” Minghao shrugged. “I don’t know man, why don’t you just ask him.” Seokmin huffed. “Well me and everyone in the store have tried to ask him but he won’t say anything. If he told us I could help.”

“Oh here he comes now. Yo! Jeonghan my dude!” Minghao yelled. Jeonghan threw peace signs back. “Well I gotta go set up the nail polish display. See ya.” Seokmin left Minghao with a pat on the shoulder.

“Mornin’.” Minghao greeted. “It’s really only morning?” He asked. “Yeah dude, it’s only like, nine.” Minghao affirmed. “Well I guess when life is as shitty as it is right now the Day seems longer.” Jeonghan dramatically sighed. Minghao put an arm around Jeonghan. “Aw dude, why’s life shitty?”

Jeonghan gave a forlorn look. Minghao put a hand on his back. “Oh no.” He grumbled. “It’s love, isn’t it?” Jeonghan lifted his head. “Love.” He affirmed. “Actually, more like wanting to get my dick sucked.” He hung his head. “But mostly love.”

“He’s like a rose. A rose I can’t touch. His virgin skin is far too much. But still he makes me sit in the dark, while my sanity leaves it’s scarring marks. Sweet like sugar and just as bad. How can someone so pure hurt me and make me so sad?” Jeonghan finished his poem. “Wow, I’m shocked you aren’t laughing.”

“Nah man.” Minghao said sincerely. “I’m crying for you.” Jeonghan hung his head. “Well take your tears and add them to mine. The ocean’s tortured, salty brine. My hearts a clock, I’m out of time. That gentle fawn will haunt me till dawn, if I even last that long.” Jeonghan looked off into the distance. “Love is arson Minghao. Make sure you don’t get burnt. Peace out.” 

Minghao grabbed Jeonghan’s sleeve. “No wait! Where are you going?” Jeonghan brushes his hair out of his eyes. “Where am I going? I’m going nowhere. I’m not myself. Maybe I never was.” Minghao rolled his eyes. “Alright, stop being a little shit, who do you like?” Jeonghan frowned. “Why, so you can listen to me bitch about it?”

Minghao rolled his eyes again. “No, you already do that on a daily basis.” Jeonghan sat down on a bench. “He’s so gorgeous.And lovely. Oh but he’s untouchable. He’s religious as fuck, super innocent, he thinks his friends and parents would hate me... the list goes on.” Minghao listened intently.

“Well, take my advice and forget about him. There’s gotta be someone else you wanna bang.” Jeonghan pat Minghao on the arm. “It’s gonna be hard to forget someone that cute but... if you teach me to forget, I’ll forget.” Minghao laughed. “If I cant get you to forget, I’ll get fired in the process.”


	3. Act 1, Scene 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to meet the soft boys.

Soonyoung walked through the food court with Jihoon and Jieqiong. “I just don’t understand.” He softly said with eyebrows furrowed. “Seokmin is in just as much trouble as I am. Both of our stores have been around forever, you’d think we’d be able to coexist.” 

Jihoon shook his head. “You’re both good people, you both sell good products. It’s a shame this shit has been going on for so long.” Then he nudged him in the ribs. “So what do you say about...”

Soonyoung shook his head. “Jihoon, you’re a good guy but... I don’t think that Cheollie is really interested in dating right now.” Jihoon grumbled. “He’s like twenty. Fuckin’ six year olds date nowadays.”

Soonyoung huffed. “People who date that young grow up too fast.” Soonyoung cringed. “But if you really love him... I’ll be there to support y’all.” Jihoon cheered. “Oh by the way.” Soonyoung smiled. “I know you’re not exactly like... preppy.” 

Jihoon nodded in agreement. “But I’m having the yearly party tonight. There’s gonna be like, pizza, vodka, pretty people. That kinda shit.” Soonyoung handed him a neat envelope with a heart stamp. “Who knows. After you see the people here, you might not even want Cheollie.”

“Juju!” Soonyoung cheerfully called. “Find the people on the envelopes and give them their letters please. I’ll see you at the party!” Soonyoung walked off with Jihoon in tow. “Huh.” Jieqiong said to herself. “I can’t fucking read this. Better find someone who can.” Suddenly she saw Jeonghan and Minghao pass by.

“Come on man.” Minghao said. “Trust me on this. You stop being drunk on beer when you get drunk on vodka. You stop puking because of cheese fries when you start puking from nachos. Therefore, if you’re obsessed with this boy, just get obsessed with a new one.” 

Jeonghan drooped his head, overgrown bangs falling in his eyes. “But he is not some simple liquor to drink once and toss the bottle. He tempts me to drink down to the last drop. Except he’s not bitter alcohol, he’s sweet poison ” Minghao sighed. “Excuse me.” Jieqiong sweetly asked “would you read these for me? I’m not the best as Hangul.”

Jeonghan smiles despite his self inflicted misery. “No problem, let me see.” He took the letter from the girl’s hand. “Im Jinah, Jung Eunwoo, Choi Minki, Kang Dongho, Wen Junhui, Hong Joshua, Boo Seungkwan, Kim Junghah... wow these are some nice people, pretty too. Where are they invited?” 

Jieqiong took the letters from Jeonghan’s hands. “My manager’s throwing his yearly party.” Jeonghan quirked an eyebrow. “And your boss is..?” Jieqiong looked up. “Oh, Kwon Soonyoung. And I don’t think this is everybody. He sends out cute invites, but basically everybody is invited. Well, everyone who doesn’t work at Hot Topic.” 

The girl shrugs awkwardly. “Mall politics, ya know?” She turns around and walks back towards Claire’s. “Have a nice day!” Jeonghan shouts back a polite “You too!” Jeonghan threads his fingers through his hair, not in a cute way, but in a Mad Hatter way. “Oh my fucking god. Joshua is gonna be there!”

“Woah, woah, woah. Woah.” Minghao grumbled, shaking his friend by the shoulders. “Yes, Joshua is gonna be there. But, we just had an hour long conversation about why you need to move on!” Jeonghan looked off dreamily. “But Joshieee.” Minghao smacked his friend’s chest. “No. There will be a ton of boys at this party. And, they’re all gonna be super hot.” 

Jeonghan took out his worn journal, stupid occult symbols carved into the cover from years earlier and serval pieces of paper sticking out of it. “His love, is a jagged cliff. His heart a piercing storm. And I fear myself to be a weak sapling. My branches frayed and torn. And though I wish for the sun to shine and the storm to stop its siren call...” Minghao yelled. Loudly. So loudly that across the mall, Seungkwan dropped and shattered the snow globe he had been occupying himself with. And Chan, the boy who worked the slushee machine broke the lever. And Jihoon narrowly avoided messing up a clients tattoo.

“I’m done with your self-pity-emo-poetry-sad-boy shit!” Minghao yelled, slightly softer. “You’re gonna find some hottie, bang them, hopefully date, but most importantly. You. Are. Going. To. Forget. JOSHUA. Capisce?”

Jeonghan nodded quickly. A yelling Minghao was never a good Minghao to be around. Especially not when you’re in his apartment the same time his boyfriend is. “I... I’ll try my hardest to forget about him.” Minghao coughed, clearing his throat. “Cool. Now let’s go get you a fucking outfit. You look like you’ve been wearing that for a week straight.”

“I have.”

“Oh...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Jiegiong speaks Korean I just couldn’t think of any other foreign Pledis artists.


	4. Act 1, Scene 3

Soonyoung threw off his jacket and entered his house’s guest room. “Wonwooooooooooo.” Soonyoung loudly called. “What the hell do you want?” Wonwoo growled back, emerging from below a dresser and fixing his suspiciously skewed shirt. “Where’s Cheollie?” He sweetly asked. Wonwoo’s head turned towards the bathroom lazily. “Seungcheol! Your “Mom” wants to see you.” 

Seungcheol’s fluffy hair and soft sweater could be seen bounding towards them, applying a baby pink gloss to his plump lips. “Hi Soonyoung!” The older man cheerfully smiled. “Hi Cheollie.” The younger man pat the taller on the head with some difficulty. “Wonwoo you can go do... whatever you were doing.”

Wonwoo blushed deeply and proceeded to go behind the dresser, standing still for a few seconds until his knees buckled and a muffled noise escaped his throat. He disguised this noise with a quick cough.

The two men faced each other. “Cheollie, uh, Jihoon was asking about you today...” Seungcheol frowned deeply. “And he’s a sweet kid! I’m sure y’all would get along well.” Seungcheol fiddled with his sleeves. “Jihoon is... very sweet, yes I suppose.”

Wonwoo stood up from his hunched position at the dresser. “Sweet? Dude, I heard eating his ass is like eating cake-ah!” Wonwoo covered his mouth, a pink blush spreading to his neck. Soonyoung nodded. “He’s very handsome too. One of the most handsome boys in the mall.” Wonwoo nodded back, his knuckles held onto the counter and turning white. 

Soonyoung turned back to Seungcheol. “All I’m saying is, a guy like Jihoon doesn’t stay single for long. And I want you to be happy.” Soonyoung put a gentle hand on Seungcheol’s face. “Hey. The party is tonight and he’s gonna be there. Just come see him.” Seungcheol dropped his head. “Alright, I’ll see what he’s like. But, just because you told me to.” He tilted his head up like a pouty child.

Suddenly Minki came into the room. “Uhhhh Soonyoung, everyone’s here and it’s... a mess. The booze is out, people are asking for you, for Seungcheol.” He looked towards Wonwoo, who was shaking uncontrollably. “People are saying something about Wonwoo? Like he did something but I don’t know what.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s just... please help.”

Soonyoung sighed. “Fucking college students.” Then he marched out to the door. “Alright, let’s fix this shit.” Seungcheol followed him quietly.

“Hey, Cheol.” Wonwoo said, voice stable for a second. “Have a good time out there.” Then his face went back to the wood and he let out a high pitched noise. Seungcheol ran out the door, but still smiled.


	5. Act 1, Scene 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof y’all its gonna get GUDDDD soon

Jeonghan and Minghao stood inside Jeonghan’s apartment awkwardly. Jeonghan had on an uncharacteristicly high amount of color in his outfit, meaning that he was wearing red and blue along with black. “So uhhh... what do we tell them? I mean, these kids don’t exactly like us? Or do we just walk in there?”

Minghao slapped Jeonghan on the back. “Nah dude, long explanations are boring. I mean, what do you want me to do, hire a male stripper to pop out of a cake?” He laughed. “No, wer’e gonna give a little speech, drink a little beer, grind on some guys, and hit the road.” Jeonghan drew in a quick breath. “I don’t really feel like grinding.”

Minghao sighed. “Dude, you’re sad. I get it. A little dancin’ should get it out of your system.” Jeonghan just let the wind sweep his bangs in front of his eyes. “Minghao, your soul is Angel Food. Light and happy and pure. You can dance the night away. But my soul is Devil’s Food. Dark, greedy, but oh so easy to fall into. To dance would be my demise.”

Minghao punched his friend in the shoulder. “You’re a L.E.B, you know that?” Jeonghan rubbed his arm. “What’s that?” Minghao grabbed his friend by the shirt and started walking to the front door. “A little emo bitch, that’s what.”

Jeonghan whined. “Minghaoooo, this isn’t fair. Just... just come home and eat ice cream with me. Let me be heartbroken. Let me moan about it.” Minghao pulled on Jeonghan’s shirt harder. “The only moaning you’re doing tonight is in one of Soonyoung’s guest rooms.”

Jeonghan groaned and bitched. “But if it’s not Joshua what’s the point?” Minghao yelled. Then he calmed down. “Jeonghan, just hand me the face masks, put one on, fix your shirt collar, and get your ass in the car. The moment we get to the party, we start dancing.”

Jeonghan fixed his shirt collar. “I think I’ll just stand against the wall and pretend to be cool.” Minghao fixed his friends shirt collar. “Listen, I get it, you wanna be sad and mopey. But we’re wasting our time just standing here. We might as well have some fun.”

Jeonghan slipped the mask straps onto his ears, making sure they didn’t catch on his piercings. “Minghao, I’m not sure if the masks are a good idea, I had this really weird dream last night...” Minghao finished putting his mask on. “I thought dream analysis was your thing last year.” Jeonghan scratched the back of his neck. “Well yeah but...”

“Dude, all that dream symbolism is bullshit. I have dreams about bananas all the time and I haven’t gotten dicked down in months!” Jeonghan furrowed his brows. “Bananas actually symbolize passion and happiness...” Minghao tutted. “It’s bullshit! You’re just scaring yourself.”

He looked at his phone. “If we’re lucky we can get in there before the pizza gets cold.” Jeonghan opened the front door. “I feel like we’re heading out too early. And this party is gonna end... badly. For a lot of people. But, if there is a higher power, I trust them to do whatever the hell they want.” He walked to his car and opened the door. Minghao raced over to him. “Dude, we gotta do the Slut Night Handshake!” 

Jeonghan grinned. The so called “Slut Night Handshake” was a cheer the boys had come up with when they were young, stupid, horny, and obsessed with Jeffrey Star. The two boys chanted in unison “Ming-hoe and Jeong-whore out on the town, bet your fuckin’ ass that we’ll get dicked down. Woo!” The two high fived after their stupid ritual. 

Minghao grabbed the AUX and started to play “Hi High”. He rolled down his window and as they drove through town he yelled. “LETS GO OR-BITCHES.”


	6. Act 1, Scene 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS HAPPENING Y’ALL THEY’RE FINALLY MEETIN’

Kyungwon groaned, clearing away pizza boxes. “Where the hell is Nayoung? She should be helping us, shouldn’t she?” Junghyeon shook her head. “Hey Junghyeon.” Kyungwon yelled. “Help me clear all this up and grab one of those little Fireball bottles. Oh, and let in those cute girls from WM High.” 

Junghyeon saluted. “Will do.” Kyungwon grabbed her phone. “Oh, they want you in the living room.” Junghyeon smiled sweetly. “Ah, they think I can be two places at once?” Junghyeon made her way downstairs just in time for Soonyoung’s speech.

Soonyoung grabbed a megaphone and loudly roared. “Welcome to the party bitches! Everyone that can actually fuckin’ dance, y’all better be dancing! If you don’t dance, it means you can’t dance, so don’t be a loser.” Beside him, Seungcheol pressed a button on a small remote, which then played loud booing. 

“Jk, jk y’all. Ah, I remember when I was high school and I could talk and people would faint... but who cares about that shit! Let’s party!” The music started, bass thumping throughout the house. Soonyoung quickly made his way to hallway with his closest friends beside him. “Junhong, do me a favor and tell the girls to put on the neon lights and amp up the surround sound.” Junhong nodded and went off.

He made it to his balcony and sat down with his friend Jooheon. “Isn’t this great Honey? When was the last time we had a party like this? The decorated face masks were a good idea, eh?” Jooheon took a sip from his cup. “Five years I think...” Soonyoung spat a little of his beer. “Five? No, no, the last time we had a party was when Minho got married and his son is only... three, right?” 

Jooheon shook his head. “No, his son is four, he adopted him a year after he got married.” Soonyoung tilted forward and surveyed the party as it carried into the yard. “Geez, I’m getting old...”

Down in the yard, Jeonghan was awkwardly shifting around. Suddenly, across the yard he saw the most gorgeous human ever. He was wearing a large sweatshirt and had a mask with bear’s mouth painted on it. He tapped on someone shoulder. “Hey!” He yelled “who’s he?” The man shrugged. “I don’t know man. He’s cute though.”

Jeonghan started to blush. “He’s not just cute he’s... dazzling. He burns like the flames that consume my heart. He owns the night like it’s a simple item. He is the most pure creature I’ve seen in this filthy, desperate, and hellish world. Dear god, I feel like I’ve never been in love. So this is what it’s like. I’ve never seen a truer beauty.” He sighed, leaning on the snack table.

On the balcony, Seungkwan narrowed his eyes. Jeonghan didn’t realize how loud he’d been talking, which was fair because he drank vodka like most people drink water. “He talks like those Hot Topic fuckers. Someone get me my taser, I’m gonna take this bitch out.” Soonyoung grabbed onto his sleeve. “Whoaaa there, what’s got your panties in a twist?”

Seungkwan blushed an embarrassing shade of red. “First of all I wore panties ONCE for my boyfriend’s birthday. Secondly, I have reason to believe that there is a Hot Topic employee here.” Soonyoung furrowed his brow. “Why do you say that?” Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Shitty poetry.” Soonyoung nodded. “Ah, so it’s Jeonghan.” Seungkwan nodded back.

Soonyoung thought to himself. “You know, Jeonghan is a good kid. He makes good grades, does a lot of community service, he’s popular. He’s nice to everyone. And anyway, this is a party. I wouldn’t want to cause a scene throwing him out.” Seungkwan grumbled. “He’s still a bitch. And I still wanna tase him.

“Really Seungkwan? You’re gonna let him enjoy this party. I don’t want my guests running around and screaming more than they have to. If you run Jeonghan out, the party will be ruined and it’ll be your fault.” Seungkwan pouted. “But Soonyounggg.”

“Don’t you “but Soonyoung” me. You’re being stupid and brash. And you keep starting fights you don’t know how to finish. One day they’re all going to come back to bite you in the ass.” He paused for a second, going to hype up his guests and ask for more light to combat the setting sun. “Now, just keep your mouth shut and fun.” He grabbed the drink he had been working on and threw it back. “After all, it’s a party.”

Seungkwan huffed and left. “I hate this. Jeonghan might think this is all fun and games but this is gonna turn real ugly real quick.”

Down in the yard a very drunk Jeonghan had approached a still slightly sober Seungcheol, gently holding his hand. “Y-you know” he hiccuped “you know how uh... like the pilgrims were all like... super into finding somewhere they wouldn’t be judged for shit?” Seungcheol nodded at the intoxicated and intoxicatingly handsome boy fondly.

“Well like, I feel like my lips are like those dudes and your lips are like... Plymouth.” Seungcheol dragged his hand through the boy’s hair. “I don’t see why you’d be judged. You’re an angel. Angels don’t get judged.” Jeonghan smiled goofily. “Heh. My friends think I’m more of a demon. But your lips are awful pretty. Maybe they can judge me.” 

“I don’t need lips to judge your beauty” Seungcheol sweetly said. “Maybe I like being judged.” Jeonghan slyly smirked. “Kinky.” The two kissed in a gross but passion filled frenzy, Seungcheol’s sweater digging into the back of a tree. “Now you’ve gone and caught my sin.” Jeonghan joked like the edgy fuck he is. “I think I like the way sin tastes.” Seungcheol whispered back. The two kiss once more. “You’re a really good kisser.” 

Suddenly a very sweaty and awkward looking Wonwoo appeared. “Hey Cheollie, Soonyoung wants a word with you.” Jeonghan looked up from his position cuddled against Seungcheol’s chest. “Soonyoung? As in Kwon Soonyoung?” Wonwoo nodded. “Oh shit.” 

Minghao suddenly came up behind him. “Oh shit is right. I was just about to beat someone at ping pong when your horny ass had to fuck it up.” Jeonghan raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m gonna get my ass beat.” 

Soonyoung walked down. “No, no don’t leave yet! We’ve got dessert coming up!” Jeonghan and Minghao sheepishly go up to Soonyoung. “Yeah, about that we’re Hot Topic employees, we snuck in.” Soonyoung looked startled for a second. “You know what? You were honest about it, so don’t stress it. I hope you have a good night.” Soonyoung sighed, downing a shot on the table next to him. He then turned to Jooheon. “I gotta get some sleep. Make sure nothing stupid happens.” 

Seunghcheol looked on with furrowed brows. “Uh, Wonwoo. Who did I just make out with?” Wonwoo ruffled his hair. “Oh that’s Jeonghan. He works at Hot Topic.” Seungcheol’s eyes widened. “He’s works WHERE?” Seungcheol started chewing on the end of his sleeve. He mumbled through the fabric “Love sucks. Fuck you Aphrodite. Fuck you Frigga. Fuck you Hathor and any other love deity ever.”

“Uh, are you alright hun?” Wonwoo worridly asked. Seungcheol spat out a string. “Totally. Totally alright. Never better.” Wonwoo heard a faint call for Seungcheol. “Oh, come on. Everyone’s gone let’s see what’s up.” Seungcheol bit at his pink stained lips. “What mess have I fallen into?” He thought.


	7. Act 2, Prologue

Now old hookups doth in his death-bed lie,  
And young horniness gapes (hah) to be his heir  
That fair for which love moaned for and would be fired  
With tender Seungcheol matched is now not fair  
Now Jeonghan believes in love again,  
Alike bewitched by the charm of looks  
But to Claire’s supposed he must complain  
And he steal love’s sweet bait from fearful hooks  
Being held a Hot Topic employee, he may not have access  
To breathe such vows as lovers swear  
And he as much in love, his means much less  
To meet his new cutie anywhere  
But passion lend them power, time means, to meet  
Tempering extremities with extreme sweet.


	8. Act 2, Scene 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan is now horny over someone new hooray!

Jeonghan stumbled from the front door lingering around the alley. He threw up on a potted plant and then proceeded to yell at the sky like the drunk idiot he was. “Fuck! Why did I leave? He was so fucking pretty. I think I left my heart in his back pocket.” 

He scrambled over a fence thinking it would lead him out of the neighborhood, but he just went into a random backyard. He heard yelling and saw Minghao through a hole in the fence. “Jeonghan, where the fuck are you?” He saw Minghao’s “friend” Junhui trot up behind him. “Don’t worry Minghao, he’s a smart kid. He probably got an Uber and went home.” 

Minghao saw the dust by the fence. “I think he jumped this fence. It leads to a little garden in Soonyoung’s yard.” Jun cupped his hands and shouted out. “Jeonghan! Bitch! Asshole! Horny little fuck! Say something so we can find you!” Jeonghan kept quiet. “He’s being quiet. Or he’s passed out.” Minghao shook his head. “Well how do we wake him up?” Jun grinned mischievously.

“Joshua Hong! Joshua’s pretty sparkly eyes! Joshua’s pretty hair and cute pink lips! Joshua’s nice legs, those thick thighs, and don’t forget his thick DICK!” Minghao punched Junhui on the shoulder. “Dude, you’re just gonna piss him off if he hears that shit.” Junhui rolled his eyes. “Nah, he’d be pissed off if I found some other guy for Joshua to fuck. I’m just talking about him so he shows up.” 

Jeonghan moved slightly, trying to get away from the fence. Minghao shushed Junhui. “He’s in those trees on the other side of the fence. He’s probably doing his stupid emo Prince of Darkness, woe is me shit.” Junhui stretched and yawned. “It’s too dark and cold out here. Let’s just go home and maybe... get each other warm?”

Minghao smiled, a blush spreading sweetly over his face. “Yeah, Jeonghan will find his way home eventually. He’d want us to go home...” Behind the fence Jeonghan gagged. If he found cum or dirty condoms on the couch, in the bathroom, on his bed, or anywhere else they shouldn’t be, he was going to kill Minghao.


	9. Act 2, Scene 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BALCONY SCENE TIME BITCHES

Jeonghan stumbled through the trees and came to a small garden. Hidden slightly by bush there was a stone bench and since he was tired as fuck that seemed like a good place to rest. As he swayed he kicked at some rocks. “Stupid Minghao, doesn’t understand me because he’s a fucking bitch. Fucking whore.” He didn’t mean any of this shit, but he’s a sad emo bitch so...

Suddenly he saw the boy from the party standing by on a balcony looking wayyyy too pretty. 

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed just a little too loudly to stay hidden. “It is a beautiful angel, purest of lights. Although they call me Angel this is a lie, for he has truly dropped from heaven to grace our foolish hearts. He keeps himself hidden and pure, yet purity is a thing for fools. Oh it is my love! How I wish he were mine! He speaks and the words mean nothing yet he still shines like stars. Oh how I wish I were his lip tint so I could grace his lips, if only for a second.”

From the balcony, Seungcheol giggles at Jeonghan’s speech. “Oh my!” He exclaimed. Jeonghan turned quickly and hid behind the bush. “Oh! Fuck! The angel speaks! Oh what an angel he truly is. If I squint I can see his halo, perched opon his nest of hair and the wings gliding across his back.”

“Oh dearest Jeoghan, how I wish you worked somewhere else. Drop your garland decked in pins and shitty overpriced eyeliner and just stop working at Hot Topic.” He stops, sighing dramatically. “Or I’ll drop my glitter nail polish and gross ear piercing gun and I’ll stop working at Claire’s...” 

Jeonghan listened to the speech, enthralled before Seungcheol continued. “It wouldn’t matter if you worked anywhere else. I wouldn’t have to hate you if you worked at Auntie Anne’s or Cinnabon. So why should I hate you since you work at Hot Topic?”

Jeonghan swayed where he stood and yelled up to Seungcheol “I’ll be a janitor for fucks sake! Anything to be wrapped up in that wool sweater of yours!” 

Seungcheol smiled coyly. “Who’s there? Who would trespass on a boy as he spills his heart out to the sky?” He giggled at himself.

“I can’t tell you sweet angel! If I had Hot Cash from where I worked I’d tear it up just because my identity keeps me from you!” He reached around in his pocket and actually did find some Hot Cash, struggling to tear it.

“Why are you that handsome Jeonghan boy that works at Hot Topic? I haven’t even heard you speak much but I can taste the poetry in your words...”

“If you don’t like me being Jeonghan, or a Hot Topic employee then no I’m neither of those things!” He swayed about with a deep blush.

Seungcheol laughed at his dramatic display. “How’d you manage to jump the fence? I’m surprised Seungkwan didn’t find you and tase your ass...”

“My weak and twisted demon’s wings managed to soar over the fence to see your angel face.” Jeonghan said, smiling like a moron. “If seeing your face means getting tased in the ass, I’d still relive it over a thousand times.”

Seungcheol looked lovingly at the boy. “Still, I don’t want them to see you. They’ll hurt you.”

“The darkness of my soul keeps me shrouded from their painful light, dear prince.”

“How’d you know my bedroom was here? Did someone tell you? Kyungwon?” Seungcheol questioned.

“It was nothing but my heart that led me here!” Jeonghan insisted “but the fairy lights help.”

Seungcheol sighed sadly. “You can’t tell but I’m blushing Jeonghan. The only thing is... You say you love me, but I’ve heard that before. And then they all run off. How can I be so sure you’re telling the truth?”

Jeonghan ran about thinking. “I swear on our glorious moon!”

“But the moon always changes!” Seungcheol yelled.

“Then I’ll swear by uhhh...”

Seungcheol shushed him. “Don’t swear. It’s not polite. Just hold your promises. We’re being too quick about this anyway. It’s like when they okay a new season of a show right after the pilot. Let’s just hope the first season is good.”

“You’re just gonna leave me?”

“What do you mean? I love you. What else do you need?”

“Make me a real promise! Something to hold on to!”

“What if you don’t really love me? What if I take back my love?”

Jeonghan pouted. “Would you really do that to me?”

Seungcheol smiled softly. “Only to give it back right away.”

“CHEOLLIEEEEEE!” Yelled a voice from the house. “GO TO BED IT’S LATE!”

Seungcheol frowned. “I’ll be right back. Wonwoo needs me. See you in a second love.”

Jeonghan’s legs turned to jelly as Seungcheol turned away. “I really hope Minghao didn’t slip something in my drink and this is all real.”

Seungcheol found his way back to the balcony. “Jeonghan. If you really love me, you’ll buy me a promise ring. You know the little jewelry store in the mall that Mingyu works at, right?” 

Jeonghan leapt about. “I’ll see there tomorrow, bright and early!”

“SEUNGCHEOL. GET YOUR ASS TO BED.” Wowoo yelled. 

“I’ll be there in a second Wonwoo!” Seungcheol yelled back. “I’m sorry I have to leave. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jeonghan’s head raced. “Leaving you is like leaving a concert.” He thought “after leaving, the adrenaline fades until I want nothing more that to have you back.”

Seungcheol returned to the balcony. “I wish I had your number. Then we could call each other and talk through the night.”

“We might not have each other’s numbers, but still my heart calls your’s.” 

The two stared at each other in the dark, neither aware of each other’s blush.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Cheollie.”

“Tomorrow, Hannie.”

Seungcheol turned away, closing his balcony doors and turning off the lights. From his spot on the ground, Jeonghan heard the faint sound of “Check Yes, Juliet”. God, what a greaseball. But what a cute one.

“Sleep well Cheollie.” Jeonghan said. “I’ll go find Mingyu and talk to him. Dream of me angel.”

As Jeonghan walked off, the chain on his jeans jangling, he whistled Demolition Lovers to himself. That’s totally not foreshadowing or anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all are ready for the stupidest AU known to man XD


End file.
